I started out today working outside. We laid flagstone in an area that seemed to do nothing but grow weeds. It will be nice to have it weed free plus it is now a perfect place to put the bar-b-que grill so we don't have to roll it around anymore. Those stones were heavy though and I got a super major workout. I probably sweat off ten pounds of water in the 3.5 hours we were working on it.
Today was prison ministry day. God has really shown me some amazing things in the few short weeks I've been there. There are some women who are there just for the break in their monotonous day but the majority of the women are there because they truly desire to change. Even in the four weeks I've been there I have seen some changes in some women. For example:
One woman had shared four weeks ago how she was having anger issues and was always in trouble and fighting. She asked for prayer. We talked with her and sought to find out the root of this anger she said she always seemed to have. After sitting and talking with her she revealed that she had been raped. She had never walked through the issues related to this. We talked with her, talked about forgiveness, talked about asking God to heal her. We knew that this would be something that would take time as she is in an environment where forgiveness is not a readily given thing. We prayed with her each week and this week she talked about how she has a new peace and she has noticed that she doesn't get angry as often. She is learning to let God change her.
The women in my group all have children (except one young woman). They all desperately want to see their children and have their children. Most of them have been taken away by the state and they know that they must change their lives if the state is to ever give them back. Today one woman shared that she had been praying that the ways she had changed would be evident to "the powers that be." Before being incarcerated she lived in government sponsored housing. She has no home of her own. She will soon be leaving the program and prison and in order to get her children back she had to have a good place for them to live. She did not want to go to family because her family is not a good influence so she had written letters to the state housing officials to see what her status is concerning housing when she is released. She shared that she was so happy because the state had approved her application for a house when she was released. Usually they do not consider people who are incarcerated but they did in her case. What was so wonderful about this story is that she said she just kept praying about it and each time God told her to take a new step, or go a different direction she would listen and do what He said. She said that it was a new thing for her and she was so excited to learn that she, a prisoner with no hope in life, could hear God and listen to Him and what is more, that now she has hope because she knew she had Jesus.
There is one woman in my group that is about 60 years old. It is very sad to see a woman that old in a drug addiction program but there she is (actually I have three grandmothers in my group). Today she asked to talk to me privately. She shared that she was upset because another woman had told her that she really wasn't a Christian and that she wasn't saved. She said she knew she was saved and she'd even been baptized. I explained that baptism didn't have anything to do with salvation but that perhaps this woman was being used by Satan to discourage her. I asked her, did you really ask God for forgiveness and accept Christ. She said yes but now she doubted that it was real. So before our small group even started she and I prayed together. She reaffirmed her belief in Jesus, her need for a savior and asked him all over again into her heart to be Lord of her life. She just beamed afterwards. She told me "well if it didn't take the first time I sure know it did that time because I feel great!"
Praise God for how we are seeing the hearts of the guards change. One guard even approached us for some spiritual advice. This is a person that has been very distant and not very willing to give an inch to accommodate us. This guard was in the dining hall with us on Holy Spirit Saturday and God must have really touched her heart in some way. She was a different person and really wanted to carry on conversation. Today I unwittingly broke the dress code rules. Nobody had told me that we had to always wear clothes that went below our knees and I was wearing some shorts that were higher than my knees. This guard had in the past sent people packing when there was an infringement of the rules but today she told me with a smile that it was okay, I didn't know and to just be careful about it next time but she knew how much this program is helping the inmates and she didn't want them to go without their group leader today. What a change in her!
There was one woman who has been bold enough to say she did not know what to believe. God really burdened one of the leaders to pray for her and talk with her each week. Last week she approached the leader and asked if she had a bible she could have. She said she could not understand her bible. She opened the new bible and was amazed to see words like “the” and “because”. Latter as we listened to the video we saw her paging through her bible trying to find the verses the speaker was referring too. Most exciting is that when the asked this young woman if she knew whether she was going to heaven, she said sort of. When questioned what the “sort of” was about she said she was gay and her understanding was that you could not go to heaven if you were gay. She was assured that being gay was a non issue when it comes to salvation. God said all who thirst come to me shall receive. She chose to receive. The leader added that after she was saved she could talk to God about her being gay and work that out with him. I was so impressed with the way this leader handled that situation. I have never had someone who was gay ask me about salvation and I have to admit I'd never really thought it through. The reality is though that many in the church make unreasonable demands that a homosexual "clean up their act" before coming to God and that's not how it is at all. God does the cleaning, not man and the first step is salvation and then and only then can God work on the heart and sin issues. Jesus never said to anyone, come see me when you don't sin anymore and I'm sad to see many in the church do this to homosexuals. (I do believe that homosexuals can and are saved and should be in the church. I do not believe that a practicing homosexual should be in a position of authority.... any more than I believe a practicing thief, or adulterer should be put in a position of authority - just to clarify my position)
The issues these women face are often deep and troubling. One young girl shared today that her biggest struggle is changing the way she thinks. She says it's hard to change and sometimes she fights the urge to just "do the program" and then go back to her old ways because it is easier. My sister this past weekend shared a story with me about a young man who was in trouble, got caught and then went back to the old ways because it was easier. He is now in jail and sits there with the death of his best friend on his conscious because "it was easier." I pray that these women don't go the way of ease and find the strength to always turn to God instead of back to their old lives. It is hard for these women and they know it will be hard when they get out. They will constantly have to stay on their guard to not allow any of the old ways back into their lives. They often go back to a "support system" that is anything but support. Family that doesn't believe they've changed or even family that is doing the same thing these women were put in prison for. They face doubt on all sides. Our lesson today was about the importance of sharing your faith and telling people about Jesus. I told them that they can encourage each other and that they needed to do that but that they could, through letters and visitation, influence their families. Most of them said their families didn't believe that they were really changing. One girl said that she told her grandmother that she was developing a closer relationship with God while in prison and her grandmother got all silent and later in the conversation said she doubted that it could be real, she'd believe it when she saw her live it outside the prison walls. To be faced with that lack of acceptance from your own family would be demoralizing. It showed me how important it is that these women receive continued support when they are out of prison.
I drove home and got home just in time to go swimming with the Havens east family (Aaron, Jill, Otto and Wren) and Cora, Daria and Hannah... and of course my husband. He's always in the pool if possible. :) Dinner at Dairy Queen (first time at a DQ in about two years!) and now we are watching the movie "The End of the Spear". We've seen it before but it is an excellent movie about the lengths God will go to to reach those he came for. Us. If you haven't seen it I recommend it.
Happy Independence Day.
Comments (8)
Great Post. Thanks for writing about this. People often look at me where I am right now and think that this is the "ultimate" place to reach. What a farce. Any place on this sin infected planet are "ultimate". Really, how often do we pass up those difficult places within our own communities? Really good to read this.
Thanks for sharing your stories.
Excellent post. It is encouraging to read how these women are trying to change their lives. We use to have a church member who was into drugs and went back to prison for an attempt to shoot a former brother-in-law. He simply refused to change his ways, and went back to the old. He believes he has to clean up his life before he can come to God. No matter how many times we have told him otherwise, he refuses to believe it. A few years ago, his son committed suicide, after being in trouble with the law for many years. I so hate to see the cycle repeating itself.
Marcelyn, thanks so much for sharing this. It is so wonderful to hear how God is moving in these lives. :)
Thanks for sharing, M. The story of the unsupportive grandmother is sad but understandable. Usually the family is torn apart and heartbroken long before the person goes to jail. It's hard to rebuild trust.
Thanks, too, for changing backgrounds. This one is MUCH easier to read.
This is a wonderful post and it is so encouraging to read about the great things this program is doing for those women. I pray God continues to use it and you to work miracles and change lives.
Thank you.
Marcelyn,
Thank you for sharing this post. As each life is changed and the cycle broken, the new ripples can effect generations. This is an encouragement to all of us to reach out to others with God's acceptance and encourage them where they are. Thank you for blessing my life today.
Tim
Heh Pottermom! I haven't been around xanga forever - but stumbled on this post. It really ministered to my heart in many ways. Your ministry sounds so amazing! Hope you and yours are well.