January 15, 2013

  • Bad Moods

    I think I figured out my bad mood of the other day.  It has to do with the show Downton Abbey that I started watching.  I realized today that I struggle with the “class” society portrayed in this show.  I know it was the way British society functioned back in the late 1800s and early 1900s and accept that as a part of history.  It really is what the entire show is about.  The upstairs lives and the downstairs lives and how they intersect.  What I struggle with is that I experience this today and I don’t like it!  I realized that the attitudes of the titled and wealthy are all around me with some people who I know.  Their superior attitude rankles and irritates.

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    I was in a situation recently where I spent quite a bit of time with folks who would consider themselves high society.  At one point we were to walk a few blocks to a bus station for transportation to our next place on the trip itinerary.  I grabbed my suitcase and started walking.  It was about three blocks, nothing too much and I had packed my usual restrained self.  I look back and see that my husband and I are the only ones pulling our luggage.  The others were looking for a porter or someone to move their luggage for them.  Some gave in and carried their luggage but most put out more effort to find someone to carry it for them than moving it the three blocks themselves would have been.  I wish I could say that I handled it well, but I probably didn’t.  I stayed quiet about my struggles and tried to act properly, or as expected but I’m afraid I failed miserably in private.  I just didn’t understand it, the expectation of being waited on.  I didn’t feel I deserved it, and I didn’t want it.  More than that, I didn’t understand why people would want it or think they deserved it.  I am not too good to carry my own luggage.

    The show Downton Abbey brought that all back to me.  I don’t like “class society.”  I think I like it worse when I’m put on the high society step of the ladder.  I do realize that I can't look "down" on those who believe they are high society, and I have to guard against being judgmental towards them, but I seek to understand why anyone would want to put themselves in a position where they couldn't enjoy the friendship with a waiter, or hair dresser, or store clerk.  To do so limits you so much in potential friendships and relationships.  It is a fine line.  Believing I am worthy yet not walking as though I am above others.  Recognizing my true value but even more the true value of others.

    An interesting part of the show is the attitude of some of the servants.  Fully accepting their "lesser" position and feeling that it is ordained, not daring to step out of line.  They truly believe that it would be improper for them to step out of their position and try to better their situation.  Such an odd time in society, and yet I do believe it continues on today in many subtle forms.  And so I struggle to just figure out what I think, how and why.

    And such musings created a bad mood.  Which I have mulled over and discarded, but it still nags me as to how to handle this all.

Comments (4)

  • Hmmm... interesting. Come along again with us and we will have no problems with you packing your own suitcase. Might even add a few other things onto it as you are headed that way!

  • Gretchen.  I carry mine, you carry yours.  Yours weighed more.  lol

  • I'm usually considered low society, but mostly I don't pick up on it until the situation is over. I remember once in Cincinnati, I was sent to interview a social diva and she took one look at me in my denim skirt and laughed, "And to think I cleaned up for you."

    Addressing the British situation, the servants (in service, dontcha know) have their own ranking distinction. Of late, I enjoyed Maggie Smith's performance in The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.

  • I remember being faced with a class prejudice I held. When Lena was 8 or 9 years old, she announced that she wanted to be a grocery store clerk when she grew up. I replied something like, "oh you are too smart to do that, ..."  I put a comma after 'that' because it was in a comma's worth of time that I took back that statement and said that a grocery store clerk would be a fun occupation! I am sure I still hold a prejudice, or two, or three, or ...  I hope to continue overcoming them

    I think you didn't look for a porter because you rolled, tossed, heaved, loaded, carried, and stacked too many bales of hay And then in recent years, it's been tractor tires!   Luggage was lightweight activity!

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